The latest Two John Podcast is not the impossible hour, but the clip above from The Impossible Hour is worth it if only for the segment around 4:50, but the rest of it is great too.
In our best podcast yet of 2010 we apologize & try to make amends for the no audio no show talk shoe podcast of New Years Eve, followed by our fearless predictions for 2010: who will win what where & not win when where what?, Core Strength by Two Johns & tech predictions. Last but not least, Listener Feedback we hear once again from Binner, Harry Legs practices Newspeak, cheap freewheel performance by I Spin Freely weighing in at 10 1/2 stones or around 150 el bees, Barbershop Bicyclist loses weight and gains a bike- old steed relegated to trainer?, cryptically- why aren’t we on the Spokespeople Roundtable?, one & only twojohns?- there are 2- is this possible?, Cannondale Commuter powertap v. macbookpro, micro maintenance, vasectomy recovery? & we don’t believe Jen Sprockets.
Capt. Kirk is a founding member of the Two Johns Wrestling Club.
The Two Johns come back for yet another podcast where we kick the podcast off with the general state of things which is cold, blinky & flashy as John K shares news about his neighbor’s light show. John G laments how hard it is to rid in freezing temperatures. Next is an interview with Neil Browne, former editorial director of Road Magazine, talking with John K about different aspects bike magazines, content & what the future may hold.
The final segment is fashion advice rich Listener Feedback where we hear from Paris Mountains Riding about her Rainbow Bright leg warmers, are they ok? Pants Man sneaks two emails in, but has trouble finding pants that fit because of his massive legs, WW2JD? Rollers or trainer?, I runneth my bike into the garage, a tale of a lycraphobic community in New Jersey, the tell tale secret stash for fancy wheels is beating in the listeners garage, The Two Johns is not a democracy & a very good resume from LeGimp, willing to change his name to be a John- and of course much more in this pre-Christmas podcast!
Back by popular demand is a gift giving segment where we give our recommendations of gifts for those who have been good & those who have been bad! But first, the bottom layer of bread of the gift guide sandwich are harrowing tales of cycling challenges in Local News: John G prepares for an 80 degree/20 mile ride, the only problem is the ride was 30 degrees/60 miles with a head wind- bonking ensues, John K tells of yet another cross race, maybe a bit of a broken record. The top bread layer of the gift guide sandwich on top of the juicy meat has all the little seeds that add flavor to the whole: Listener Feedback, the Snot Rocketeer reminds us his arm of the armed forces has nicknames like ‘Moobs’ instead of ‘Iceman’ & they watch ‘Top Gun’ twice daily, but the best Kenny Loggins song is from Stallone’s arm wrestling film ‘Over the Top’, Binner sounds like he is a bonker, another should I buy a cross bike?, do the rules apply if that really was the last podcast?, we clarify John K & John G, to iPod or not to iPod that is the question & The Road Frog send us man cave artwork among others. As always listener feedback of the week is awarded swag by Defeet. GIFT GUIDE LINKS BELOW Handpresso portable espresso maker: http://www.handpresso.com/
The 2 Johns have been naughty and nice. John G. has been mostly naughty. Intl – we talk UCI Pro Tour licenses and the best technology of 2009. Local News includes, you guessed it, cx talk. On to Listener Feedback for tales of an unprepared pedaler getting pelted, winter dressing tips, FPP returns from Nepal, Specialized Trek or Felt advice, frozen stones, flat feet and custom clothes, washing white kit and don’t hate the SF, John G. is called a horse’s a*s and John K. is implored to find a new podcasting partner, Foon Roon Roobie pens a poem, a FLA rider likes cold water, how to keep your cx rig un-frozen, chapeau and season’s greetings to Steve Hacking, from broken femur to bike racer. Thanks to DeFeet www.defeet.com for listener of the week swag prize.
Pack up the car, turn on gps, load up the kids (does anyone need to go to the bathroom?), and enjoy this all listener feedback Thanksgiving special presentation of the 2 Johns Podcast. This installation comes on the heels of last week’s technical difficulties with the feedback segment — we did it, just forgot to hit record. Anyway, we go through last week’s mail plus some like hungry uncle through a plate of turkey, spuds, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. On our menu is a mystical haggis fueled ride to south of the border, an ambiguous question from diablo de acero, tucson fantasy camp and an ESPN comparison, stumpy goes to France with his mates and ponders the benefits of a compact chainset, Brodirt NYC checks in with a cx update a canti question, EPO man relates a Lance stalking incident and brush with Michael Ward – he also tries to sneak in an infomercial, The MAN weighs in on the C’dale commuter’s question, a scottish wallaby seeks pedaling advise, DERF gets drunk and re-writes a hit from the 70’s… Bebe Come Back, a cycling jarhead wonders how to stay cycling fit whilst at sea for 6 months, the Orange badgers us about his centaur shifters, mojo l comes along for the ride, a tall cyclist is enlightened to the way of the camelbak, the j-hole takes the bait, and a Spike Lee film retrospective. Enjoy and the holiday!
by Art Buchwald
Thursday, November 24, 2005
This confidential column was leaked to me by a high government official in the Plymouth colony on the condition that I not reveal his name.
One of our most important holidays is Thanksgiving Day, known in France as le Jour de Merci Donnant .
Le Jour de Merci Donnant was first started by a group of Pilgrims ( Pelerins ) who fled from l’Angleterre before the McCarran Act to found a colony in the New World ( le Nouveau Monde ) where they could shoot Indians ( les Peaux-Rouges ) and eat turkey ( dinde ) to their hearts’ content.
They landed at a place called Plymouth (now a famous voiture Americaine ) in a wooden sailing ship called the Mayflower (or Fleur de Mai ) in 1620. But while the Pelerins were killing the dindes, the Peaux-Rouges were killing the Pelerins, and there were several hard winters ahead for both of them. The only way the Peaux-Rouges helped the Pelerins was when they taught them to grow corn ( mais ). The reason they did this was because they liked corn with their Pelerins.
In 1623, after another harsh year, the Pelerins’ crops were so good that they decided to have a celebration and give thanks because more mais was raised by the Pelerins than Pelerins were killed by Peaux-Rouges.
Every year on the Jour de Merci Donnant, parents tell their children an amusing story about the first celebration.
It concerns a brave capitaine named Miles Standish (known in France as Kilometres Deboutish) and a young, shy lieutenant named Jean Alden. Both of them were in love with a flower of Plymouth called Priscilla Mullens (no translation). The vieux capitaine said to the jeune lieutenant :
“Go to the damsel Priscilla ( allez tres vite chez Priscilla), the loveliest maiden of Plymouth ( la plus jolie demoiselle de Plymouth). Say that a blunt old captain, a man not of words but of action ( un vieux Fanfan la Tulipe ), offers his hand and his heart, the hand and heart of a soldier. Not in these words, you know, but this, in short, is my meaning.
“I am a maker of war ( je suis un fabricant de la guerre ) and not a maker of phrases. You, bred as a scholar ( vous, qui tes pain comme un tudiant ), can say it in elegant language, such as you read in your books of the pleadings and wooings of lovers, such as you think best adapted to win the heart of the maiden.”
Although Jean was fit to be tied ( convenable tre emballe ), friendship prevailed over love and he went to his duty. But instead of using elegant language, he blurted out his mission. Priscilla was muted with amazement and sorrow ( rendue muette par l’tonnement et las tristesse ).
At length she exclaimed, interrupting the ominous silence: “If the great captain of Plymouth is so very eager to wed me, why does he not come himself and take the trouble to woo me?” ( Ou est-il, le vieux Kilometres? Pourquoi ne vient-il pas aupres de moi pour tenter sa chance ?)
Jean said that Kilometres Deboutish was very busy and didn’t have time for those things. He staggered on, telling what a wonderful husband Kilometres would make. Finally Priscilla arched her eyebrows and said in a tremulous voice, “Why don’t you speak for yourself, Jean?” ( Chacun a son gout. )
And so, on the fourth Thursday in November, American families sit down at a large table brimming with tasty dishes and, for the only time during the year, eat better than the French do.
No one can deny that le Jour de Merci Donnant is a grande fte and no matter how well fed American families are, they never forget to give thanks to Kilometres Deboutish, who made this great day possible.
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