The Group Ride.
nothing important December 31st, 2007You can find them on any given Sunday in any given community. They all seem to have striking similarities. I am in Orlando, Florida and yesterday did the Windmere ride. I come down here every year and do the ride so I sort of know the parcours. This particular ride, this time of year, starts with about 50 people and does a rolling (yes there are some hills in Florida) course. It is a very competent, nice group of guys who recognized a visitor amongst their ranks and took the time to say “hello” and to point out turns, etc. With the ride to and from Adam’s house, it’s about 85 miles all told. There are also 3 “sprint” lines… you know, grown men fighting for the ultimate prize of winning the Sunday Sprint.
Anyway, the similarities. The usual cast of characters were there.
The Mouth: He talks at length about how fast he is, how much training he has done, results, how poorly other people are riding, and, especially at the water stop, how he just won the previous sprint. The Mouth on this ride was actually a decent cyclist and won 2 of the 3 sprints. He announced to me that he was a “time trial specialist.”
The Wheel Sucker: There were at least three in the group. And they became more obvious once the hammer dropped and I would only see them contesting the sprints. It’s a training ride guys, take a pull why don’t ‘cha?
The Matching Team: I suppose Huntington is this team on our local Saturday and Sunday rides. Matching bikes, kits, shoes, glasses, et al. The matching team on this ride were all on Look’s with seat masts and contained a few of the aforementioned wheel suckers. Others in the group also called them the Spanish Mafia.
The Triathlete: Self explanatory. Didn’t see them after the hills began.
The Poseur: Impostor, pretender, someone claiming to be something they are not. The Poseur on this ride was wearing a full Priority Health Bissell team kit. They are out of Michigan and we see them and race against them quite a bit. I know most of the guys on the team. I ask the Poseur, “so, where did you get that kit?” He defensively responds, “I ride for this team.” Really?? What’s you name, other details, etc. quickly out the pretender. I also didn’t see him after the hills started.
Happy New Year. Be careful tonight. I may have a race report for tomorrow if things do not go too late tonight…
January 1st, 2008 at 8:03 am
Hey guys just thought this was a very true to life description of most every group ride. The one we do in our area is of course more like a group race than a ride which is to be expected when there is testosterone around. Of course the usual taking up a whole lane, blowing through lights and motorpacing behind cars is always expected! After not being there for a few years I get a laugh out of the one no hoper guy who has been going off the front for the past 10 years only to get caught by the group. Some things never change! Happy New Year
January 1st, 2008 at 8:05 am
After reading this a second time I have one guy you forgot. The Gapper! He seems to always be onthe rivet and lets gaps open up like Britney Spears legs. He seems to be there at the end every week though. Please gapper hold that wheel in front of you or buy a recumbant!
January 2nd, 2008 at 12:43 am
Well the team rides we do over the winter are all small ring and we wait for everyone, thats why we do so well.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:39 am
is it ok to suck wheel if you’re not contesting any sprints and desperatly want to hang on to the finish?
i’m trying to whip myself back into shape lately and have been riding with guys much faster than myself, but there is one fast ride weekly that i’m still just trying to finish with the front group (which is the only group). i feel ok sucking wheels until i’m there, then i’ll worry about pulls (and i will never be worrying about the sprints).
January 7th, 2008 at 9:56 am
WK
Absolutely. And, you’ll be respected more for doing your work - when you can - and laying off the sprints. There is nothing more irritating than the group ride wheel-sucker who’s nose doesn’t see the front until the town sprint at 30 miles.
JG